Love in the time of Corona
As I lay there, I realized I hardly knew this person. Sure, I loved her. But that love started through mutual pain. Both of us were going terrible divorces. I remember the first time she offered herself to me. I wasn’t sure then that I wanted to do this. Now that we’ve been down so many miles together, it’s hard to think of life without her. But she isn’t who she was back then. In some ways, she hasn’t changed at all, not even a bit.
She is a lot more consistent than I am.
Consistency isn’t my strong spot.
She doesn’t deal with anger well, but then neither do I. She shuts down. Sometimes for several days. Telling me how I am ruining the relationship. That may be because I expressed my disappointment with her “teasing.”
She likes to tease, something she considers fun. But from my end, I often react as if it’s razor-sharp, cutting me to the bone in one fell swipe.
I have to learn that cutting words are just words.
They mean nothing unless I allow them too.
If she stays or goes, I will be ok.
One day at a time. Finding my way through all of this. Difficult or terrible as it well may be.
If she stays, should I not include her on the refinance or, better yet, simply not refinance?
I know this…
